Ordinary People

On Friday night Karina and I watched one of the more powerful movies that I have ever seen. The movie was called Ordinary People. It was the first movie that Robert Redford ever directed, and it won the 1980 Academy Award for Best Picture.
The movie is about a family (father, mother, and son) grieving the loss of their son/brother. It chronicles how each of them deal with the pain differently, and how this threatens to tear them apart. Donald Sutherland (Jack Bauer's dad) plays the father. I can't think about his character without getting emotional. He loves his son so much, and tries so hard to hold his family together. He has his own set of issues, but he tries so hard to do what is right. He finds himself breaking down, though, and the gap between his wife and his son grows wider and wider.
Most of the movie, though, follows the son, Conrad (16-17 years old), as he tries to come to grips with his pain. He loves his parents, but each of them is contributing to the problem. His father is a teddy bear who will not embrace his pain. His mother is in complete denial and wants to act as if everything is fine.
My favorite part of the movie is the Conrad's interactions with his psychiatrist, played by Jedd Hirsch. I think believers need to watch this movie for this part alone. It is so, so powerful to watch this doctor. He is such an example of someone who is secure, and thus is able not to be threatened by someone else. At times Conrad lashes out at him because his pain is so deep. The doctor is never phased by this, and he continues to draw Conrad out, and finally to bring him to face his pain and emotions.
It would be great if we as believers could respond this way to those around us. I often only think of the pain of others in the context of how it impacts me personally. I was so inspired to see someone who genuinely died to himself in order to help someone else. He took nothing personally. How much more could I help others if I did not take pain or attacks personally?
The movie, of course, also made me think of my own family. I certainly never want to face the pain that the family in Ordinary People faced. At the same time, I know that each of us will have hurts. How will we respond to them?

Will we acknowledge our pain, or will we bury it?
And will I do things that will force my precious sons to feel that they cannot be real about what they are going through? I hope not. But the fact is that just because I love my family does not mean that I will not respond to difficulty in a way that will make things more difficult for them.

This movie raised the issue of pain. It dealt with it tragically and beautifully. As believers in Jesus Christ, though, we know a comfort that is so profound and real. It does not take pain away. That will happen in the new earth. In this present time, though, the comfort of Christ is more powerful than any comfort or distraction we can receive from anyone or anything else.

We can only really be prepared to suffer well if we embrace the comfort of Christ each and every day, and if we find our hope in him alone.