Jack's Potty Training

Hi, this is Jack Franklin. I just want to give you all a little update on how things are going as my parents TRY to potty train me.

My potty training began the day after Thanksgiving. That Friday morning my Dad put me on the potty and told me that I would not get up until I had gone peeps or poops. I thought that sounded pretty lame until I found out that I would get to eat my breakfast and watch VeggieTales while sitting on the potty.
For the first couple of days my pattern was basically to sit on the potty until my Dad let me get up. Then I would put on my Big Boy Underwear, go into the kitchen, and pee all over the floor. Then I would get rushed back to the potty, where I would immediately demand a new VeggieTales movie while I sat there. Life was good.
By that next Monday or Tuesday I was actually getting the hang of this whole potty thing. If I go peeps, I get a chocolate chip or two. My brother Matt also gets chocolate when I go, so whenever he hears Mom or Dad clapping for me, he comes running into the bathroom to pick up his goods. If I go poops, I get to watch a VeggieTales. What Mom and Dad didn't clarify was that my poops have to go into the potty in order for this deal to work.
I have to admit that there were some rough moments during this period of focus. At times I just wanted to throw on a diaper and relax. At times I sat on the potty whining and saying, "rough." Mom and Dad say that they know it is tough for me, but do they really know? They have been potty trained for a long time (or so they claim). A little more compassion would be welcome.
Now I go around in pull-ups full-time. Often I even have clothes on over them (but not always). Sometimes I also wear my Big Boy Underwear. I do a better job now keeping it dry. During the first day of potty training, I think I went through ten pairs. I probably only went through about 6 or 7 on the second day, though. From there on out, it has been better.
Here is a little advice now for anyone who is about to go through potty training:
1. Whine and hold out until you get the best possible reward. Parents often start with a little reward like M&Ms or chocolate chips. After a couple hours, though, they will offer movies and bigger food. After a couple days, they will promise you just about anything. If my parents are people of their word, then I should be receiving a pony, a bike, and the deed to their house anytime now.
2. Learn quickly to go a little bit at a time. If you get chocolate every time you go peeps, why go all at once. Let a little bit trickle out, get your reward, and then go back and repeat cycle.
3. Get ready for your parents to make lots of embarrassing comments about your chubby little legs. Parents seem to love this. They'll see your legs a lot since you will spend a lot of time in nothing more than a shirt and underwear. I don't know what it is about little chubby legs, but parents seem to love them. I'm not saying you have to enjoy it. I am just saying that you should be ready for it.

Well, that is about all I have to say. My parents are optimistic that being potty trained will make their lives a lot more pleasant during the Christmas season. I think I will try hard to keep improving so that I can make life easy on them. I think I will. Probably. It all depends on what I can get them to promise me. . .